My name is Ellie. I'm depressed, I have anxiety attacks, and I stress about everything. I wish it weren't so. I have no reason to be this way, but the mind is to complex to be tamed. This is currently the biggest struggle in my life and I keep it mostly in the background. I try to keep it so no one else has to be a part of my problem. I will over come this. I'm getting married in a year. My fiance is a wonderful, supportive man, who (naturally) drives me crazy. I wouldn't change a thing about him. Planning a wedding is a big task, it is fun so far, but like I said, I'm still a year out. Our wedding is going to be relatively large (we both have big families), but hopefully really laid back and fun. We're both country kids who were stuck in the burbs, so our wedding is country. I love my dogs and cats and horses. Okay and tigers and dolphins... and all animals (except birds). I love coffee and Dr. Pepper. I have a sweet tooth that sometimes does not agree with my stomach. I love colors and fashion. I love history, when it is presented in ways I can see and feel and understand. I love words. Written, sung, said. I love stories. I love movies and books and writing. I love reading, experiencing, diving into stories. I love winding through mazes of words to understand a greater meaning. I love writing and telling stories. I love watching stories and lives and truths in movies. I love my family. They drive me crazy sometimes. And my family is really complicated. I love mostly my family that I know I can count on no matter what. My name is Ellie. I don't always have a plan, but I'm just trying to get through life. I've been hurt. I've lost. I have scars, but I've learned from them. I try to always keep moving forward, no matter how hard. I love. I live. I write. And now I'm writing- because I can. Because I don't care if anyone reads this, but if someone does, great. I'm writing because writing down how I feel and what is happening helps me process things. I don't know how I feel about things or how I want to react to things until I write about it half the time. So I will write. If you desire. You may read. If you don't desire, just know I do this for me and because maybe someone out there feels like me. Maybe someone out there needs to hear something I have to say. Maybe someone out there is in the same battle as me. Just maybe.
Saturday, May 25, 2013
My Name is Ellie
My name is Ellie. I'm depressed, I have anxiety attacks, and I stress about everything. I wish it weren't so. I have no reason to be this way, but the mind is to complex to be tamed. This is currently the biggest struggle in my life and I keep it mostly in the background. I try to keep it so no one else has to be a part of my problem. I will over come this. I'm getting married in a year. My fiance is a wonderful, supportive man, who (naturally) drives me crazy. I wouldn't change a thing about him. Planning a wedding is a big task, it is fun so far, but like I said, I'm still a year out. Our wedding is going to be relatively large (we both have big families), but hopefully really laid back and fun. We're both country kids who were stuck in the burbs, so our wedding is country. I love my dogs and cats and horses. Okay and tigers and dolphins... and all animals (except birds). I love coffee and Dr. Pepper. I have a sweet tooth that sometimes does not agree with my stomach. I love colors and fashion. I love history, when it is presented in ways I can see and feel and understand. I love words. Written, sung, said. I love stories. I love movies and books and writing. I love reading, experiencing, diving into stories. I love winding through mazes of words to understand a greater meaning. I love writing and telling stories. I love watching stories and lives and truths in movies. I love my family. They drive me crazy sometimes. And my family is really complicated. I love mostly my family that I know I can count on no matter what. My name is Ellie. I don't always have a plan, but I'm just trying to get through life. I've been hurt. I've lost. I have scars, but I've learned from them. I try to always keep moving forward, no matter how hard. I love. I live. I write. And now I'm writing- because I can. Because I don't care if anyone reads this, but if someone does, great. I'm writing because writing down how I feel and what is happening helps me process things. I don't know how I feel about things or how I want to react to things until I write about it half the time. So I will write. If you desire. You may read. If you don't desire, just know I do this for me and because maybe someone out there feels like me. Maybe someone out there needs to hear something I have to say. Maybe someone out there is in the same battle as me. Just maybe.
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